The elevator.

I posted something on X a while back. Just a thought that crossed my mind while I was on my way to a date.

Those last few seconds before a meeting. Alone in the elevator. The doors closing. A quick glance at my reflection, just enough to pull myself together. I didn't expect that simple post to resonate the way it did.

Clients and companions alike replied saying they knew that feeling exactly. The flutter. The anticipation. The uncertainty of what comes next. Most people assumed I was describing their nerves. I wasn't. I was describing mine.

There's an assumption that tends to follow this work: that the nerves belong only to you. That when you're meeting an escort for the first time, the uncertainty is yours to carry alone, while we arrive already settled. Professional. Composed. Untouchable. But that's never quite how it feels for me.

Every meeting comes with something. Not dread. Nothing like that. More like the feeling before an important moment. You know what's coming. You're looking forward to it. Whether it's a first encounter or the tenth time seeing someone I know well, there's still that small quickening as I make my way upstairs.

I've come to think of it as a good sign.

Did you know that the body doesn't distinguish much between nervousness and excitement ? The heart beats a little faster. Everything sharpens into focus. The same signals, depending on how you choose to interpret them. To me, it means something still matters. That neither of us is simply going through the motions.

The glance in the mirror isn't vanity. It's a kind of centering. A way of arriving as myself rather than as a version of myself that's already somewhere else in her head.

And then the doors open.

That moment, that small held breath before everything begins remains one of my favourite parts of this work. It hasn't dulled with repetition, and I don't think it ever will.

So, if you've ever found yourself walking towards a date with an escort, wondering whether you're the only one feeling nervous, you're not. There's a good chance I'm somewhere nearby, standing in an elevator, taking the same breath.